With the world turning into a global village, there is certainly a lot of connection and each day, thousands of relationships are born. Forget about the official and highly formalized relationships that are majorly business oriented, I am referring to the cordial ties that may have a future encompassed in it. When you have fallen in love with someone from another continent, proposed and married, just how do you ensure that your children are not mixed up with the racial confusion?
- Settle on either culture and paint them in it
In most interracial marriages, there is always an evidence of one race being dominant and often, wrongly so. The decision to settle with someone from a different race (out of love and not force) should begin by accepting that no race is mightier than the other. You should both be willing to start all over again and learning from each other.
However, in some cases you may decide that your children be socialized in either culture, thereupon, upbringing has no challenges because there isn’t division. We want them as white, so we paint them. If the decision is reached in good faith, it can be easier if the children are entirely exposed to same environment. Say, to bring up children born between a Chinese man and a white lady in Chinese culture – it is easier to do so living in China than in Europe. This choice works best for religion or the denomination you may want for them.
- Show them both sides and let them live free
One of the advantages of such marriages is bringing up children who are bicultural. While it is so applauded, the dangers overlaying such upbringing are enormous if care is not taken. It is advised that as parents, you should strive to acclimate your children to both. Take them on holidays and let them interact freely with either side without being rigid. It helps them be free agents with so many things to choose from.
Being cautious or rigid in this case makes the children more confused. Teach them how to make daddy’s best dish and with equal determination, how to bake mummy’s best cake. If you are going to let them taste both environments and show openly that you despise either, they are most likely to disappoint you. They may choose what to you is ‘inferior’ while to your spouse ‘superior’.
- Show them both and help them decide
Another way to go is civilizing them in both cultures but helping them to choose what you jointly consider desirable. It rolls back to taming rigidity while replacing it with guided democracy. If in the culture of your spouse, for instance, your girls can date at 13 while all you agree that it should be 18 as in your culture, then you must make them know what you stand for.
This, however, calls for guidance and only a lot of it is sufficient. There is going to be a time when they may want to choose what none you believe in and takes all your moral authority to guide them rightfully. The easiest way to go about it would be to establish family values and let them attract likeable societal values.
- Sail them to a third party culture
I have heard of families which migrate to other countries with totally different cultures and raise their children there. Haven’t you heard of Negros brought up in Brazil for instance? Actually, this approach may be the most expensive, but upon an agreement or on conditions of work, you may find your family in a whole new environment.
In such instances, children may end up developing values that are strange to both of you. The best way to counter such is by moving fast to learn the new environment so you may be well informed before you approach them. Another time, they may be a blend of what the two of you are and the environment around.
- The grand blend
Here, your children may taste all of the above instances. When committing to such relationships or marriages, flexibility is key. You may really not know where your lives will end and such may impact differently on the lives of your children.
When unable to choose which of the above perspective you want to choose from, do not let your children wallow in nothingness. Instead, build strong family values and let them grow in them in such a way that they are mature enough to make independent choices, consult you or borrow what is foreign in an appropriate manner.