It seems that whenever we think about international relationships we always have our attention delegated to language, and the importance of being able to share and to communicate with the other. It’s the one constant topic that permeates into the bonding of human beings. Without language, communication dies, and it is shortly followed by the decay of any relationship.
But what if before we talk about language, we stop to think about understanding, first and foremost, that you are a member of a relationship.
Let me explain.
There is a bond that happens when two people agree about their feelings towards each other. And this is, in most cases, proven by an inner impulse, an emotion that has little to do with how language explains it, and more to do with how it is felt on an internal level.
The things that fire up all relationships are the stuff of “1001 nights”:
emotional states, buckets of excitements, truckloads of exhilaration, while sharing the loveliness of life with someone who finds solace in that same beauty. These particular things don’t need a translator or a dictionary. It’s more about how we relate individually to these things and how we enjoy how the other also finds depth and beauty in the simple things that wheels away preoccupations and allows the present to have a steady stronghold in our life experiences.
If you find a need to constantly translate for your loved one, do it because he or she asks it of you, but not because you feel urged to do so. It is very easy to annihilate the magic of daily life’s simple attractiveness. Nowadays, we are so bombarded by information that we have begun to be wired towards the constant need to explain our understanding of our own emotions when something happens. And therefore we regularly detach from being present within such experiences.
Do as best as you can not to be constantly overpowered by your own explanatory quest over your partner.
Some beautiful moments are best kept in their silent essential characteristics. Don’t confuse sharing and communicating with your own need to be understood, it is very easy to jump into that reality.
Allow simplicity to rule, turn off the public translator, and its tourist guide mindset.
Those of us in developed countries rush quickly into thinking we have to be known for how we understand things. This can be a drag, and even boring for some foreign cultures. We have forgotten that these cultures have kept at bay certain behavioral patterns that are common in other social realities, patterns that could annihilate their natural sanity. Instead, they have developed a kin attention to how chaos and spontaneity, with its natural cycles, truly guides our life.
I walked in silence for almost a week in the Amazon, with an old companion, and after almost seven and a half days of nonverbal communication we started talking again. It felt strange, almost alien to us, the vibrations of the sounds felt like bells ringing all throughout our bodies, until we started to familiarize again with it. Imagine how much vibrations sound has and how much it can also help in building the foundations of your relationship if only you know when NOT to let that translating needy mind take over those moments of beauty gazing. So when you feel that your partner has somehow receded into a state of presence, maybe more than translating what is in front of him or her, try to join in and maybe beauty will also touch you.
We are members of a relationship, and that means responsible partnership. As we get to know the one we chose to love and follow, it is also important we observe how our tendencies could hinder the positive outcomes of our union. I once dated a guy from Japan, and he was so prone to quietness that my attempts for making sure our social life kept its noisy character, took us both in the direction of missile rocket launching arguments.
I wanted so much for it to work that it dissolved before it even learned to breathe.
That was my lesson.
Always know that differences are what makes us more responsible towards the other, it is the strength of cross cultural relationships.
It is our inner experience what dictates our actions and paradigms, let that be a significant part of the life of your relationship. There are hundreds of ways to say I love you without needing to translate word by word what you mean or how strong those feelings are.
Just do it! Emotions and intentions propel more than language. Silence the translator as often as you can. Just be there.