Life is complicated in so many ways. There are rules and ways of doing things for just almost everything. To the extent, love is no longer as easy as falling in it and getting carried away by what is charming about the other. It has become very important to exercise caution, especially when the ‘falling’ is to another who’s of a different skin color and speaks a different language.
Intricacies of Intercultural Relationships
Interracial and intercultural relationships have a unique set of intricacies. The first of which is cultural difference. It can be quite difficult to come to terms with a new set of beliefs, traditional norms, cultural expectations and pressure that comes from a husband or wife’s side. Along with cultural dissimilarities are conceptual variances as a result of different backgrounds.
Even though an entirely different subject, one’s view of a man’s/woman’s place and roles in the family could differ sharply. Other family members may also not hold favorable opinions about their loved ones getting engaged to those of different cultures and skin colors. Other difficulties include hidden meanings in cross-cultural communication, security concerns and travel logistics.
What it Means – To Keep Things Simple
Relationships are generally dynamic, potentially very complicated, and or complex in so many other ways. Add inter-cultural challenges and the complexity increases dramatically. For every additional element of intercultural/interracial relationship intricacy there’s increased complexity and with that comes misunderstandings but most importantly the need to make or keep it simple.
What then does it mean to make and or keep things simple in an intercultural relationship? The answer varies greatly depending on prevailing circumstances surrounding your relationship, the different intercultural elements/challenges specific to it and the standards set by you as partners. The primary idea,however, is to anchor the relationship on basic simple principles such as love.
How Exactly to Keep Things Simple
Focusing on one interaction at a time helps simplify what would be a complex relationship. Of course, there’re several elements in an intercultural/interracial relationship that requires attention but if focusing on one aspect of the relationship at a time can help clarify misunderstandings that would be great in keeping things simple between you and improving your personal relationship.
Keeping things simple may also mean feeling good about a certain conversation or interaction, finishing each other’s sentences, correctly decoding each other’s body language, making short-hand references to previous situations, making fun of good and bad experiences shared in your relationship, and or openly discussing your differences in such a way that you build each other
Remember the Tenets of Your Relationship
These are good moments, however, when it is easier to remember the tenets of your relationship. It’s principally helpful to keep things simple when your relationship is strained or when you are pressured by time among other factors. Focusing on a distinct subject can seem awkward but if you do and clearly define the subject of your interaction then a problem becomes easier to solve.
Difficulties have a way of bringing the worst out of people. Add intercultural challenges to that and you may be shocked. It’s the best time to know if really misunderstanding is the predominant dynamic causing problems in your relationship such that whenever there is an issue among you, you can find the solution faster by stepping back and trying to find a way to keep things simple.
Reminding Partner of Common Values
Other than minimizing intercultural relationship challenges and solving them one at a time, you may also make things simple in your relationship by reminding your partner certain things that do bring you together. Here’s an example. “Before we talk again about the argument we had this morning, I think it’s important to make it clear that despite everything my love for you is intact.”
The truth is that a statement like this, when said in a loving moment, is very powerful before re-visiting a conversation and or situation that could have done some damage to your relationship. You may not necessarily revisit the specifics of your argument but if you do, you do the same in a more loving manner. This way you may clarify conflicting issues and avoid a possible fight.
More Thoughtful and Simple Statements
Reminding your partner of your love for him/her works the same good humor does. It melts their hearts off their difficult positions and could as well make them forget the intercultural differences between you two. It is important to exercise some caution though. If you make a statement like this too soon, too often or in the middle of an argument, it may feel or seem rather manipulative.
Finally, remember that all relationships of significance have a variety of patterns and history that cannot be captured in a one-size-fits-all simple, magical statement; that in situations when you find it challenging to make or keep it simple, you can at least not complicate things by stressing on the negative. Here are more thoughtful and simple statements you may rephrase as you prefer.
- “Look, I love mum, and dad but regarding what happened I don’t care what they said, it’s you I care more about. Let’s focus on us for now.”
- “I know this topic always makes us fight. Please let’s find another way to talk about it next time.”
- “How can I support you?”
- “I’m so glad we’re over that now.”
- “Isn’t it wonderful that we can talk about this soberly, even though it’s a little messy?”
- “How can we keep it simple?”