We all have something to say about everything. We need to comment on each and every topic that our friends have opinions about. But please, be more tolerant when it comes to criticizing or stating facts about cross cultural relationships, and why some of your friends are dating someone from outside their cultural boundaries.
And for you, my friend, next time someone starts pointing out the do’s and don’ts of relationships, do yourself a favor and tell them to go fly a kite. Tell them that while they are at it, to carefully observe how the clouds dance with each other without much concern for color or shape. They just move as freely as the forces allow them to.
Your friends have no idea what moving outside those cultural boxes may do for them. First off, the fact is that your children are going to come out extremely gorgeous, but that’s for later.
What your friends don’t know is that shifting those perceptions of our standard social responsibilities means more than the obvious “cute kid” mixture.
Don’t let anyone cast a shadow on the beauty of what you have accomplished. No one knows more than you what it has taken to build the foundations of your relationship, and like we all know, the core of all enduring relationships lies on how healthy those key foundational stages are. The future of your partnership and the building of a family are determined by that. Those first months and perhaps year, in a cross cultural relationship are as entertaining as they are challenging. A never ending rollercoaster. But, if you are in it at this point, after all those language barriers, ego-breaking assassinations, late night walks, wine driven smiles, it means that like me, you are cut out for the fun of the whole package.
So pay no mind to whomever doesn’t believe that your happiness is not genuine. Or that, due to trying to understand another culture’s normalities, you may expose the inner ramblings of your relationship more openly. What this gives you is a simple opportunity for a better you, in a more thrilling relationship. Friends can be light bearers that would lighten your most darken moments, but we all have friends and relatives that still find it hard to accept differences. Buy twenty kites and always have them at hand. Because there is always someone caught on his or her own blindness. For them, your peace offering is a kite.
Your happiness is your own declared state of presence. Even if there’s sixty percent of things that escape you in your interactions while talking to your mother-in-law, you can still feel that familiar love that you are a part of now. Talking with your sister-in-law becomes an exercise in facial expression reading. And don’t worry if while visiting their country, their conversations with the taxi driver are so incredibly fast that you are only able to catch two words of it. That’s how you start integrating another culture. Baby steps. And remember, if you tell your friends your travel stories, remind them, that as chaotic as it may seem, at least you get to travel often. Especially since there are so many cousins and nieces and uncles getting married, and as is the custom, the whole Cuban family has to be there for each and every one of them. Traveling this often nurtures you and your children, remind your friends of that.
Remind them that you have chosen the multiplicity of a relationship that constantly brings new views on life, something that would not have been possible if you would had stayed within the boxed reality they are so afraid to cross. Your duty is with your own personal interest. How bad can it be to learn another language? It is oxygen for our brain synapses. Those idiosyncrasies that criticize traditions from other parts of the world turn down the possibility to experience the world from a contrasting angle. We are moving at a tremendous speed on this earth ship as one single living organism. How can we not allow ourselves to be part of that wholesome family? It would be a waste of our capacity for integration if we didn’t learn to be more accepting of change and differences.
Kites come in all sizes, colors, shapes and material. Categorize them by level of absurdity, and give them in accordance with earning degrees of nonsensical perceptions. Remember, we are in cross cultural relationships because we see this planet as a whole, and because Cupid’s loving arrow marked us. Enjoy the chaos, and let them talk.